I’ve decided to blow the whistle on the evil “drive-thru hoax” that American fast food restaurants have perpetrated on their unsuspecting (or unwitting) customers. While sitting in one of my favorite fast food restaurants the other day (yes, I’m a fast food junkie), I counted eight cars parked in the drive thru lane. Eight! What’s up with that?
Do these gullible souls actually think they’re going to get faster service in the drive thru lane? NOT!!! Even if it takes only five minutes per customer—if you’re lucky—to take an order, receive payment and hand over the bag, guy number eight is looking at a good thirty-five-minute wait.
With the high price of gasoline these days, who can afford to sit with the engine running for that length of time; all for the sake of cheap food and “fast” (I use that term lightly) service?
Considering the number of calories we scarf down with our “super-sized” meals, parking and hiking into the restaurant would burn off at least a few calories. Heck, we’d all be better off parking at the fast food joint at the end of the block and jogging back to this one. Then we could eat those fries almost guilt free.
But, there they sit in the “drive-thru” lane—inching along and waiting, while sucking up the toxic fumes from the car in front of them. Maybe that’s the problem: brain damage from car fumes in drive thru lanes. I can see it now, a whole new class of law suits!
As I enjoyed my meal in air-conditioned comfort, the long line of cars continued to snake through the lane outside. Occasionally, one pulled off to the side to wait even longer for his “special” order to be delivered.
And then there was the poor sucker, directed to the sidelines, and his order was lost in the process. Ten minutes later, he stomped inside to complain.
But the real kicker is the guy who gets back to his office and discovers that he received the wrong order. Now that’s entertainment!
Ah, such is life in the drive thru lane. It’s enough to make you want to brown-bag your own lunch—or not. As for me, I’ll gladly park my car and walk inside, whether I’m getting my food to go or eating it on site. I’m certainly not going to burn up a gallon of gasoline and inhale toxic fumes in the hope of saving myself a few steps.
Like I said before, there’s no such thing as “drive thru” at a fast food restaurant. If these places were forced to adhere to truth in advertising, the sign would actually read, “Park and Wait Lane”.
But don’t mind me. This is a free country. If you want to waste your time and gas, kill off your brain cells and hoard your calories, be my guest.
Oh, and for those of you who are feeling a bit dizzy, call 1-800-LAWYERS.
